You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
