I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
