I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
