I love black thongs
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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