before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
