Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
