yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
