garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
