Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
