We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
