I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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