I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
