i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
