thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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