I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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