Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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