We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
