I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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