I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
