We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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