Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
