Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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