There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
