i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
