Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
