How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
