I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
