I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
