I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
