You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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