the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
