idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
