Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
