You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
