Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
