So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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