God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
