...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
