it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
