$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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