We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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