i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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