I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
