just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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