how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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