Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
