I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
