I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
