I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I want is dick and wine.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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