So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
