She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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