Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
