Ambien. No doubt about it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
